Training Week One or Frostbite

There's a problem with running in Illinois in the winter -- it's cold and often snowy. (For those of you who live in places where it doesn't get cold or snow, imagine running on Hoth). I know what some of you are thinking: treadmill. I am aware of treadmills, but there are two problems with them:

1. I don't own one. Even if I wanted to, there's no room for it in our townhouse. I used to belong to a gym that had them displayed in the window, but I am no longer a member there.

2. They are evil contraptions bent on killing me. I think somewhere along the line treadmills saw Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive and decided it was a good idea.

So, no treadmills. Besides, I like running outside. That is, I usually like running outside.

When I went running earlier this week the trail was covered in snow, ice and puddles. My running shows have thousands of those little holes so your feet can "breathe" but what they really do is let freezing puddle water in. I almost turn back, but I notice all the footprints -- other people have gone before me. If they can do it so can I. So I start running:

Run run splash slip run skid splash pause to look up frostbite first aid on my phone run splash slip slip splash

Then I notice it: not all of the footprints are human. It dawns on me, they weren't running voluntarily; they were running from wolves! Or coyotes ... or Chihuahuas. Thankfully, the voice on my training app informs me that my workout is complete, so I head back to the safety of the busy street.

Two days later I decide to run again. On the same path. In the warmth of my home I've reasoned that those probably weren't wild Chihuahua prints, besides the rain the day before has surely melted all the ice and snow off of the path. So I go running:

Run run run WHAM! I'm hit with a blast of negative 1000 degrees Kelvin wind! whimper run run splash WHAM! whimper slip splash run WHAM!

Not wanting to give my body as a Popsicle for the wild Chihuahuas to lick, I turn back. As my face is painfully thawing in the beautiful warmth of my home I make the decision to shell out the $2 the community center charges to use their indoor track.