Skipping Training or Addictions

I am prone to addictions. I discovered this at an early age when I got hooked on the marshmallows in Lucky Charms cereal. I would spend hours in front of the television watching Space Ghost and riffling through the cereal box in search of the marshmallows. My mom would often find me bouncing around the basement, eyes glazed over, half eaten moons, stars, and clovers stuck to my face.

She was finally forced to get me help when I was five. We were in Rosauers, our favorite grocery store. We came out of the soup aisle and I saw it: a colorful pyramid display of boxes -- boxes filled with the magically delicious charm shapes. I went into a frenzy and ripped open all the boxes. Before my mom could do anything I greedily devoured twenty boxes worth of the tiny marshmallows. (Yes, kids it's true that that kind of eating leads to type 2 diabetes -- just say no.) Needless to say, we were banned from Rosauers. The shame eventually drove my mother to leave Spokane and hide out in Idaho. Where the stench of Nampa's sugar beet factory is a constant reminder of the evils of sugar addiction.

Being aware of this proclivity for addiction has made me cautious. It's the reason that I have not watched Downton Abbey or The Walking Dead. I know I would become addicted to them and inevitably be drawn to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. This of course would lead me to the rock bottom squalor of reading Pride and Prejudice when not required to buy a sadistic English professor (Yes, kids it's true that reading Jane Austen leads to fits of boredom and the desire to get your single friends to date each other -- just say no.) But what does this have to do with running? Well, I'll tell you.

Today is one of the days I normally run. It has been thundering and raining nonstop for a while. This would not normally be a deterrent, after all, when I lived in England it didn't stop raining for three years and I would swim by the glow of the sheet lightning. Lightning strikes just make you run faster right? But then I saw Noah float by on the ark, so I thought I should just skip it today. That's when I noticed it -- the jonesing for a run; the all too recognizable itch of addiction. When did this happen? Why are there no PSAs about it?

"Parents know the signs of running addiction -- worn out shoes, referring to distances in kilometers, improved math scores, and incessant stretching. If you suspect your son or daughter is addicted to running, there is help. Get them to your local McDonald's and order a Big Mac right away. . . . The More You Know."

If I'd known running was addictive I never would have tried it. I would have closed my ears to the marathon pushers, and never succumbed to its endorphin laden goodness, but I didn't and now it's too late for me. I'm addicted.

But it's not to late for you. If you aren't a runner, don't start. Just say no to the fancy shoes and sophisticated water carrying devices. Turn away from the promises of being healthier and losing weight. Close you ears to the siren call of those who tell you, "It'll make you feel good,". If you don't  you might end up like this man. (Yes, kids it's true that running leads to being related to the Kardashians -- just say no.)

If you are already trapped by running's sweet, sweet endorphin laden goodness, there is hope … okay, there really isn't hope, sorry.

Please help me glean some good from my fall; turn my tragedy into triumph for others. Give $50 or more to turn my running addiction into clean water for those who do not have it. It'll make you feel good.